Rock "N" Roll Nightmare

3.1/10 IMDB Rating
Snore Factor: ZZ

Short Version (that's what she said): Written and produced by muscle rock inventor Jon Mikl Thor yes THOR, comes the ultimate Rock "N" Roll Nightmare! A hair band featuring THOR as the lead singer travel to a house in the country to practice their rocking and sex. Unfortunately, demons are afoot and one by one the band members are possessed. Satan appears and THOR reveals that he is an Archangel, wearing tiny metal stud underwear, that has set a trap for Lucifer. I promise I didn't make that up. If you aren't interested by now then you never were.

Long Version: The movie begins with a seemingly unrelated short film about a Canadian mother that gets eaten by her oven, or something close to that. After ten minutes of watching a van drive down the road it shows up at, gasp, the same house.

We are introduced to Triton, the regional and moderately successful hair band and their manager. They have come to the house to practice their rocking. They have brought their girlfriends along with them. I am not one to start a blamestorm, but having your girlfriends with you seems like a bad idea if you are going to do serious work. No offense to women either, I love you all.

"Hey man, nice shirt!"

The band practices in the studio barn, which Alice Cooper built a few years before. They sing such hits as, "We live to Rock", and "Give me Energy". A puppet shows up, this things looks like a penis with a big eyeball on the end. It pukes some fluid into a drink of an unsuspecting girlfriend. She turns into a demon and eats the manager.

We are now privied with lots of sex scenes. Every member of the band is gettin' some, including THOR. His girlfriend and him participate in some of the most awkward kissing scenes ever filmed, specifically the shower scene (which is about 5 minutes long).

What strikes me as odd is no band member does drugs at all. They drink Coca-Cola! Tons of sex and Coca-Cola, that is it!

All the band members except mighty THOR with his dreamy hair and muscles are taken by the demon. Eventually, his possessed girlfriend, who is now Satan reveals his true self. THOR tells the demon that he didn't kill anyone and that all the members of the band were just imaginary characters that he created in order to trap Satan here and fight him. He also reveals his true self as an Archangel.

The only thing that can be said about this ridiculous plot twist and why mighty THOR decided to go this far over the top, "because it goes to eleven". Duh!

The fight rages on with someone off camera throwing rubber starfish at THOR while he pretends they are sticking to him and causing pain. This is hilarious! Of all the attacks the devil could muster I would have never guessed he would throw rubber starfish. Very sneaky. Amazing! Too bad they didn't work and THOR, in his utterly disgusting tiny metal stud underwear are victorious.

Sexiest outfit ever?

THOR, though you look like He-Man, you are the one and only Rock God. I hope to someday battle you in Guitar Hero.

Interesting Tidbits

19 Mins - Dishwashing - Rock Style
20 Mins - Knitting while Rocking is happening
25 Mins - Boob Alert
32 Mins - Lots of Rock Sex
51 Mins - Boob Alert and Sex and Death
53 Mins - Doze Factor Level One
55 Mins - Boob alert --- shower scene

The Harold P. Warren Memorial Worst Line of Dialogue

"No Sweat, Sweet Knees." -Stig(the drummer)

"Let's tune our weapons" - THOR

-Micah