5.2/10 IMDB Rating
Snore Factor: ZZ
Wow! I don't think words can fully explain this film. It may be is the most bizarre movie ever made. The movie was lost for 25 years, and the director FORGOT he made it. Full of bad acting, an incredibly surreal plot line, demon tears, multiple narrators, a bed that eats things, some of the most under-acted scenes in the annals of cinema, and over-the-top special effects. This movie must be watched! Death Bed has all the ingredients to be the best B-Movie ever.
However it does fall short though and at times is a little to art-housey/pretentious. Horror, comedy, existentialism, slapstick, and melodrama don't quite mesh. 10 out of 10 for cult status and striaght up craziness! Still the most unusual horror/comedy ever made.
Plot: A bed eats people that come near it, the bed also eats apples, fried chicken (but stays away from the bones), suitcases, drinks wine, snores, laughs, has the ability to cause petty damage, form a lasso, fall in love, bleed, and sleep amongst other things.
Breakfast
A demon sheds blood tears on a bed that becomes possessed and turns into a man-eating piece of furniture. We know this because the narrator who the bed has trapped behind a painting tells us so. The plot (very) loosely revolves around three women who come to watch this giant house in the middle of nowhere. This isn't explained so well, in fact completely throw out the idea of a linear plot. Nothing in this entire movie follows even the slightest bit of rationale.
A young couple on a picnic stumble upon a house and decide to break in, logically. The bed, locks all the doors except for the one that goes to his chamber. Then comes one the greatest moments in cinema history. While the young couple make out, the bed begins to eat their picnic items. This is accomplished by first sucking the items into the mattress, and then what appears to boiling Mountain Dew selectively dissolves the items. When the bed is done eating it simply pushes the items back to the surface. For example, a bucket of chicken, chicken bones and the empty bottle of wine. This has to be seen to believe.
Lunch
Three girls arrive at the house amidst a considerable amount of narration. We are privileged with running commentary of what the girls are thinking, expressed as narration. It is kinda like that movie, What Women Want starring Mel Gibson. He can hear everything women are thinking and we as the audience of Death Bed get to hear what each character is thinking. This is an interesting technique, as most films typically choose to use acting and dialogue to convey thoughts and feelings.
The narrator in the painting keys us in that the bed is afraid of one of the girls. Every time she comes near the bed it begins to bleed internally (WTF?). The narrator excited by this tells us the entire sorted history of the bed, including how he became trapped by the bed. Apparently, he was a drunken aspiring artist and the bed took pity on him and only trapped him inside a painting. He now collects watches and jewelry from the victims of the bed. The bed has literally eaten thousands of people, including a mayor that demanded action.
At this point if you haven't already seen the film you are completely lost. I will try to fill you in on the rest but I am sure I will only confuse myself.
The brother of one of the girls is dispatched to find her. This makes about as much sense as bed that eats people. He disappears for awhile then shows up. Most of the girls have been eaten already including the chick with the afro, who nearly made it. The brother finally shows up to save the day. His arms from the forearm down get sucked off and stripped of their flesh. During and after this you can only imagine the pain he must be in right? Wrong! He calmly goes and sits down next to his sister. Never once does he scream in pain, cry, or show even the slightest bit of discomfort. He is the toughest person to ever live. I had tears of laughter streaming down my face.
Dinner and Dessert
The movie ends just as bizarrely as it started. The long lost love of the demon comes back to life, the narrator is allowed to talk to the actors, their is an epic struggle and I think goods wins, but one can't tell for sure.
Interesting Tidbits
Took 5 years to make '72-'77
Demon eyes are full of blood, no matter what
Comedian Patton Oswalt on his album Werewolves and Lollipops speaks of this movie and the sequel he is writing; Rape Stove: The Stove That Rapes.
7 mins - Bed begins to eat
9, 23, 26, 38 mins- Boob Alerts
18 mins - Plot dissapears
64 mins - Eyeball surpirse
The Harold P. Warren Memorial Worst Line of Dialogue
The entire movie.
Man places food down on bed, one minute later that food is gone, the chicken has been stripped to the bone, the wine is empty. His reply,
"
Something is wrong, I made a mistake."
-Micah